on the roads lie my belongings ....

I was meant to rule kingdoms

And sway people off their feet

I am now drenched in a faint question

How do I resolve life further ?

I was applauded by the audience

Under the shade of the banyan tree

I am paranoid about people now

How much more they will harm me?

There was a sun promised on this hillside

I am getting all dead in burns

I need a lot to lighten

And held my strength firm

As if my child is sinking

Right before my eyes

Something sharp paining

Skin deep and I still have to be fine

All I needed was money

To shatter my goals and help me

To run away from this place

It was a mirror of gold

And very soon my urge broke

I am still struggling days

And managing nights under lamp posts

I cry a tear every night

While praying God for peace of  this earth

letting turmoil inside me slip through the eye lids

letting dreams still beam under Gods oblivious hope

I had this journey planned

And everything has turned fragile

This journey wrote for me

these roads and belonging here for a while...

tHe BeGiNnInG wAs A tRaIL

It was a trail , we hardly could survive, rage and blood involved, an instance of massive destruction. Sometimes the end is all what you desire, the end and a new beginning. What is it does not seem to end. A day before i know the thing i am talking about will end, the things i labelled trauma and prolonged state of impatience, the end was a need and a greed.

When today i asked one of my friends about what end meant to him. He said that end has no meaning and no existence. Natural enough of his traits , he could not explain. I quite well agree with him. The end is surely close , and awaited , but then will it be called an end? Wont it linger on till the time i live? Or till the time i don’t suffer  for amnesia ? The need of an end nurtures and inspires a beginning. But it’s never the end, things stay with you forever.  I need an end to inspire, to plan to reshape, to make things better in my own ways, to have the right to label them correct and add the right kind of items to my wish list . Need and greed . check !

I still have the memories of the classes that ended, the friendships that ended, the crushes that were dumped, the trash bin is full , the end list , is nullified and yet not empty . The bin is within me? Or I’m within the bin? When does the end wraps up?

I have the feeling that there could be some way to erase the end and also its need. I’m close to ends and closer to beginnings. Its the need of the beginning that crunches into the greed of and end. With the change of this year , I’ll make beginnings real and end virtual. I wish time gives me a magic wand to desire no ends, to await none.

The ends have a characteristic of their own, they are chosen . everything I believe is what you chose to. You wish an end, and you strive for it, or you wish a beginning and you create it. The end does not mean a beginning but it surely nurtures one as I said. I have no means to relinquish the need for  ends, but I do have the fervour to chase and capture the beginnings. Sometimes directions can be defined in terms of ends. I just did that J

I’m happy that with the end of this page , I know what end meant to me, and the worth of a beginning .

happy new year to all !! may you get the ends and the beginnings you are searching for !

The SoUnD

Every sound makes a sense...only if you have the insight to hear

The music , plays loud and ofcourse,makes more than what you would call a sound . I was sitting and wondering on whats happening around me. why is there chaos, why cant I see some light and why are people following me , and why are some following my traits, why cant thins stay different, from person to person , why does one need a thing common. Is joining more fun
? is commonality a sign of connetion?
The sound of chaos made me realise that I need to stop that one. Atleast
from piercing my ears. Thoughts and sounds are analogous , they invoke
and provoke you to shout !!
And drive you mad at times, they definatly rob you of all he peace you had. But the question is, why does the music seems maddening a times? because, not everytime you can hear music. they say excess of everything
is bad, and so is of music.
There are times when the abundance of things we love , seem to make life devoid of the other things . the key is stay balanced.

Rock , pop , punk , good , bad...hail and live in the muic of life. It will make you dance all the way ( quite literally ) Choose your choice of music. God played fair and did not give us choice
of days , but he did give us the coice of the music that we can choose on
that days .
I went through some things I recently did, the music was a disaster , but I survived, coz, it was just in my hands how to deal with it .
 I deal , and get off , chuck it , and move on . lets take the music as it plays .


say ... let the music play baby !!!

I stand here right now

The perfect date...candle light dinner....with the one u love.... and there he kneels down...hold your hand...places a diamond clad ring in you finger..and....and...

Peppeepp...peeppeeppp...peeppeeepp...

“uth jaa kamini...wana class phir mis karegi”

No ...my dear babe’s in the woods ...its not someone’s mom freaking out...how could you forget your second mom, your best friend, your room’s worst or better half . With each morning when you lazily wake up or wake someone up (as mentioned above ) , you feel love in your heart , for someone so close. You do stay mum, but you cant deny. While brushing sleepily, you have your eye on a door, and someone’s exit from that is expected, to check if the person is awake or not. You have someone , infact lot many, to chatter with during the breakfast, a few less at luch , and a whooping gang ( what people like me fondly might call ) . Fun , at present , life , college .

Well what if one day you’re ( as you would be thinking at present ) , the happiest , finally out of MODY, will you ever wonder, what was behind, what has changed your existence. 


Will  not attending classes affect you someday, will you miss some whatever people (as the lingo calls them ), will you miss the bitching around and endless gossip hours, the dirty birthday parties, the hearts that were put in and the laughs that came out ? will you ever learn to live, without these memories?

4 years , and life would move on. But there will remain things that one would love to brush through again, words that you wish could get back to you, a room that was once yours and a life that was once loved. 
Because the Maggie parties would still go on, but what would change, will be the people partying, the room will still be filled, and still you would dare call it your room ( they say old habits die hard ).
 Even now the bathrooms will be empty in early mornings of the dreadful winters, the coffee’s would be gladly welcomed still, but somewhere in your office room and not in the usual mess. 
The comments on some bitches would still be passed on by you, but will it be that fun with no one by your side , to laugh and to fight back . when high on fever , will there again be someone , who would help you recover and take you to clinics .
 Will the walks down new FET be hated any more or less, when will you feel so eager to have an ice cream , like it feels when served in mess. 
When do you next plan to line up for coffee, when next will you roam in corridors , when next will you shout in bathrooms , when will you next plan an event , when next will you see your friends, when next will the word GROUP...mean the closest thing to you in the entire world?

I don’t know when next will I find a chance to say I’ll miss you!

So I’m saying it here.....

love you zonked !!

you're the best people ever happened to me :)

FriEnd <3

one wicked smile
one naughty face
one made to frown
another one full of grace

there were many names I had
and many pepple to choose
I thot I'll mix up wd her well
but she was not my kind
demanding and loose

I wanted smone to grip me tight
the one who fights
yet ends it right
one who would stay when asked to leave
one who would know when my naughty mind beeps

I had the least notion
that I cd click with you
I always knew you were fine
but how come finest of all the ones new?

and then times go on by
I fall more fond of you
our memories and the jokes
right timings and the support
my whole world with time is a part of you

some moments when I have
grudges cz I could not complain
grudges cz you go apart
and then someday come with me again
grudge that I could not say
how much in mean while I missed you
I hated you for being away
and not getting my words through

but now when I look back
and see us smiling togethr
I feel all was meant to happen
some days good,and some better

when these times would end
and I would wish for some new
I dont know if I would get back
some moments here and there with you

for all I can say
for all the tyms I missed
I have met a lot of people
one friend,in one life,thats U

Me....

I let no word take the pain..
of expressing my love fr you..
let it be me..let it be you..
and the silence that prevails ...

I have no gaze that could say
all that I feel for you
let eyes be closed
let ur warmth surround...
and the feel in the air...

I look at my hands
and miss the look, when they are into yours
let me b lost
let me be so
and the memories that sail..

I look at the bench at the park
and I miss us siting togethr
let me go further
beyond some dreams
and let me see whats ahead
with u around

I seem soaked in the day that passed
the one that I spent with u
let me stay mad
its all that I am
and let you be surprised
by what that lays


I trust no fate ,that heads me
to a path away from you
let it be me,deciding and designing
our love for sure will find its ways

UnperTeRbed & UnDonE

With thoughts floating around

I sit touched on the ground

I have a million things to do

I’m bounded , I know , I’m sound

There were words left said

And words you need to know

Words that sailed through

And words that drowned before I let them go

There were musings of my own

I always have them close

I abide by their certain ways

They breach rules often , more then I know

Then there were actions

That kindled and moved souls

Caressed my hunger of thoughts

And caused some more to follow

With heights that I attain

Even while settled low

I could engrave emotions

Minding all within, and all those meant to throw

I have around me

People , sage and devils ,therein

Its actions that checked the moves

And moves that lead me to know

I chase things I wanted

And get rid of those that chase me

For all they do is cage a person

Let me go, I am not your own

I thought I would write my mind

But there is one thing that I know

There are still a myriad facets left

Unperturbed and undone

They forever plan to remain so !

WhEn MoUsIE RuNs...

There was yet another story ...out of the rat race....one that yielded results...mark my point..just one out of the entire race of rats, mice and other clones, make it up there, to the apotheosis . I have been a part of such race too lately, CAT,MBA, and its varied options, how mechanically mastering management I am. Whatever might be the case....no wait another rat race is available to join ( not again !! ). How much these races allure us. How much they inflict upon us...and how much we exercise upon them. To go by some option is a nice thing to do, but what if the options are borrowed, and not well surveyed for. What if they landed in your head just because they were a part of the discussion of some friends of yours. I believe so I have been drifted, cz I actually have been. And so am I preaching that it wasn’t entirely my choice. All the part that resided on my part of choice was to which rat race to choose.

For once I did think of taking up writing as a career, no matter what reaps further. But then there was no rat race available, and not many of you have the courage to stand out in the crowd and take a stand, and its not that I lack that, but somehow I am not guided.

And I know we all aren’t . For most of you that would be reading this blog will be of my age group, a group that I think has always remained confused (no offence , I think so ) .

The point to be noted is that, the one rat race you missed because of lack of courage or vigour, or may be due to unavailability of such a rat race, is the ones you truly desire and long for. The race that will be marked and spearheaded by you, race that’s of life , your’s and for the next ones to follow.

ThE D!v!nE Lo\/e H@s A WicKeD End

I don’t know why, but I find peace in this line. Don’t think that I’m a cry baby over relationships that did not end in peace, nor do I want to kill my any one who does not love me, I’m just plain and simple in using my words, I love these lines. There are often some lines found in the weirdest of books or in the taglines of most unexpected people in your gtalk list who carry them, and writers like me, hehhaaahhaa , STEAL THEM. I am observing a strange hunger these days for words and phrases that could drive me more frantic towards writing, and fortunately by God’s grace, I’ve been lucky enough to find them.

So , talking about the lines and not diverting much from the so called topic ( hah ! ) . Love as we all know or must have witnessed is divine, and for those who have lost their love (s) , would agree to the latter part too. Love is enchanting enough to grip one’s soul and inspire any one...to go on and on in their narration about how much in love are they with love. And are you smiling? So congratulations you are in love !! and are you hating me ? oops...I’m not that bad ( really ) . no offence !! ( in any case ).

Love for me has been a feeling yet to be explored truly. There have always been factors adding to its pros and cons. And I’m equally in love with these factors. For more than loving love, I love the journey which would take me to my love. Have you ever tried or wondered...that even that journey ...which takes you to your destination ...has been worth loving ? For what fun could adoring someone be...without that journey? What if you could have got him/her so easily ? Just a plain I love you...and no fights to establish its edifice, no cribbing about each others habits, no late night talks, no crying and teasing and no jealously. I guess, the dark side adds to its purity, where reverse things governs the pace...I confirm existence of love !

There is love which is so divine and wicked features to add onto it and that’s what it makes it so wanted and desired. Its always love with wickedness on the rocks, you would know when you’ll have it. It is indeed the unaccustomed mixture of surviving all odds. Wishfully prayed you all get it (even more than once if you want )

J

sTrAiGhT EdgE ...

I would never define how obvious is the unexpected these days, how magnificently welcome is something “out of the box” or rather I must say “something not made for the box” , how cliché it is to think straight and how fondered to go about crank . There could be dimensions to what I just mentioned. Take it just as a pie slice . The key is to stay happy , to stay content , and about the diversions the happy and content part has ,from being ethical , moral or to fall within the purview of being accepted.
If you’re still not getting what I intend to say, I’ll be more precise . Think of legalization of 377 , a widespread debate in a country like ours , still lead to the conclusion , countering the laws of the nature as propagated, that a man and a man or the similar case with the bearers of opposite sex can be together. Choices as I mentioned, no longer depend on morality , being right or wrong . They rather depend on the fact “ do you dare “ . You would ask what is there to be dared about . Its a thing as simple as this, that do you dare to punch in block letter, in your mind, the facts, the activities , the ones divulging from what you could have called hysterical , those like that came up, and those that are yet to. The choice is to let know, that there are certain privileges accustomed to you, and so are you to them, and barring you from them won’t be of any good to anyone. For privacy is always private , and so have become choices.
Not just keeping in mind the 377 ordeal, there have been myriad of this kind , like the talks about marijuana legalization. All come close to the recital that no matter what the perception is, changing the course is now a habit of the game, not just a part of it . Be it indulging in drug intake, lying , having a split personality , indulging in act with someone whom you have know just for that night , a visitor called from laying off a few bucks , all these issues are now a normalized version of lives, some close to you, some far-fetched , but they are. As plain and as simple , there is not just an attempt to break the shackles , its an outrage , one that would continue for years to come, one that won’t rest , for it is termed tranquillity for some.
So whenever you have a doubt about what side to go by and what not, just remember , choices now are personal , say it legalized to be personal . Good , bad , cliché, weird , made up , they are of your own. To keep up on the good side, there needs to be a demarcation and cognizance of what the bad side talks about. The edge as we see, is no longer straight . Nor are any of us, who bragged about it. The edge has grown wicked in its own diverse sense and versions making our path pitching over and our destinies void .