It was a trail , we hardly could survive, rage and blood involved, an instance of massive destruction. Sometimes the end is all what you desire, the end and a new beginning. What is it does not seem to end. A day before i know the thing i am talking about will end, the things i labelled trauma and prolonged state of impatience, the end was a need and a greed.
When today i asked one of my friends about what end meant to him. He said that end has no meaning and no existence. Natural enough of his traits , he could not explain. I quite well agree with him. The end is surely close , and awaited , but then will it be called an end? Wont it linger on till the time i live? Or till the time i don’t suffer for amnesia ? The need of an end nurtures and inspires a beginning. But it’s never the end, things stay with you forever. I need an end to inspire, to plan to reshape, to make things better in my own ways, to have the right to label them correct and add the right kind of items to my wish list . Need and greed . check !
I still have the memories of the classes that ended, the friendships that ended, the crushes that were dumped, the trash bin is full , the end list , is nullified and yet not empty . The bin is within me? Or I’m within the bin? When does the end wraps up?
I have the feeling that there could be some way to erase the end and also its need. I’m close to ends and closer to beginnings. Its the need of the beginning that crunches into the greed of and end. With the change of this year , I’ll make beginnings real and end virtual. I wish time gives me a magic wand to desire no ends, to await none.
The ends have a characteristic of their own, they are chosen . everything I believe is what you chose to. You wish an end, and you strive for it, or you wish a beginning and you create it. The end does not mean a beginning but it surely nurtures one as I said. I have no means to relinquish the need for ends, but I do have the fervour to chase and capture the beginnings. Sometimes directions can be defined in terms of ends. I just did that J
I’m happy that with the end of this page , I know what end meant to me, and the worth of a beginning .
happy new year to all !! may you get the ends and the beginnings you are searching for !