tHe BeGiNnInG wAs A tRaIL

It was a trail , we hardly could survive, rage and blood involved, an instance of massive destruction. Sometimes the end is all what you desire, the end and a new beginning. What is it does not seem to end. A day before i know the thing i am talking about will end, the things i labelled trauma and prolonged state of impatience, the end was a need and a greed.

When today i asked one of my friends about what end meant to him. He said that end has no meaning and no existence. Natural enough of his traits , he could not explain. I quite well agree with him. The end is surely close , and awaited , but then will it be called an end? Wont it linger on till the time i live? Or till the time i don’t suffer  for amnesia ? The need of an end nurtures and inspires a beginning. But it’s never the end, things stay with you forever.  I need an end to inspire, to plan to reshape, to make things better in my own ways, to have the right to label them correct and add the right kind of items to my wish list . Need and greed . check !

I still have the memories of the classes that ended, the friendships that ended, the crushes that were dumped, the trash bin is full , the end list , is nullified and yet not empty . The bin is within me? Or I’m within the bin? When does the end wraps up?

I have the feeling that there could be some way to erase the end and also its need. I’m close to ends and closer to beginnings. Its the need of the beginning that crunches into the greed of and end. With the change of this year , I’ll make beginnings real and end virtual. I wish time gives me a magic wand to desire no ends, to await none.

The ends have a characteristic of their own, they are chosen . everything I believe is what you chose to. You wish an end, and you strive for it, or you wish a beginning and you create it. The end does not mean a beginning but it surely nurtures one as I said. I have no means to relinquish the need for  ends, but I do have the fervour to chase and capture the beginnings. Sometimes directions can be defined in terms of ends. I just did that J

I’m happy that with the end of this page , I know what end meant to me, and the worth of a beginning .

happy new year to all !! may you get the ends and the beginnings you are searching for !

The SoUnD

Every sound makes a sense...only if you have the insight to hear

The music , plays loud and ofcourse,makes more than what you would call a sound . I was sitting and wondering on whats happening around me. why is there chaos, why cant I see some light and why are people following me , and why are some following my traits, why cant thins stay different, from person to person , why does one need a thing common. Is joining more fun
? is commonality a sign of connetion?
The sound of chaos made me realise that I need to stop that one. Atleast
from piercing my ears. Thoughts and sounds are analogous , they invoke
and provoke you to shout !!
And drive you mad at times, they definatly rob you of all he peace you had. But the question is, why does the music seems maddening a times? because, not everytime you can hear music. they say excess of everything
is bad, and so is of music.
There are times when the abundance of things we love , seem to make life devoid of the other things . the key is stay balanced.

Rock , pop , punk , good , bad...hail and live in the muic of life. It will make you dance all the way ( quite literally ) Choose your choice of music. God played fair and did not give us choice
of days , but he did give us the coice of the music that we can choose on
that days .
I went through some things I recently did, the music was a disaster , but I survived, coz, it was just in my hands how to deal with it .
 I deal , and get off , chuck it , and move on . lets take the music as it plays .


say ... let the music play baby !!!

I stand here right now

The perfect date...candle light dinner....with the one u love.... and there he kneels down...hold your hand...places a diamond clad ring in you finger..and....and...

Peppeepp...peeppeeppp...peeppeeepp...

“uth jaa kamini...wana class phir mis karegi”

No ...my dear babe’s in the woods ...its not someone’s mom freaking out...how could you forget your second mom, your best friend, your room’s worst or better half . With each morning when you lazily wake up or wake someone up (as mentioned above ) , you feel love in your heart , for someone so close. You do stay mum, but you cant deny. While brushing sleepily, you have your eye on a door, and someone’s exit from that is expected, to check if the person is awake or not. You have someone , infact lot many, to chatter with during the breakfast, a few less at luch , and a whooping gang ( what people like me fondly might call ) . Fun , at present , life , college .

Well what if one day you’re ( as you would be thinking at present ) , the happiest , finally out of MODY, will you ever wonder, what was behind, what has changed your existence. 


Will  not attending classes affect you someday, will you miss some whatever people (as the lingo calls them ), will you miss the bitching around and endless gossip hours, the dirty birthday parties, the hearts that were put in and the laughs that came out ? will you ever learn to live, without these memories?

4 years , and life would move on. But there will remain things that one would love to brush through again, words that you wish could get back to you, a room that was once yours and a life that was once loved. 
Because the Maggie parties would still go on, but what would change, will be the people partying, the room will still be filled, and still you would dare call it your room ( they say old habits die hard ).
 Even now the bathrooms will be empty in early mornings of the dreadful winters, the coffee’s would be gladly welcomed still, but somewhere in your office room and not in the usual mess. 
The comments on some bitches would still be passed on by you, but will it be that fun with no one by your side , to laugh and to fight back . when high on fever , will there again be someone , who would help you recover and take you to clinics .
 Will the walks down new FET be hated any more or less, when will you feel so eager to have an ice cream , like it feels when served in mess. 
When do you next plan to line up for coffee, when next will you roam in corridors , when next will you shout in bathrooms , when will you next plan an event , when next will you see your friends, when next will the word GROUP...mean the closest thing to you in the entire world?

I don’t know when next will I find a chance to say I’ll miss you!

So I’m saying it here.....

love you zonked !!

you're the best people ever happened to me :)