LeT's DiSappEaR ...

if only I could disappear
I could find the reason for my existence
and what is to be present
and what is to live only in perception

I find something choking deep inside
that refuses to extinguish
a thing that is infusing darkness
in thoughts , making it cold


I wish I could feel the spin of the smoke
and rise of the urge to gulp and get high
the motion of senseless swinging on the floor
more of in concord, than one spirit in a fight


below the sky I disappear
like I never existed , too tiny for a name against it
above some notions I wish to disappear
like they never existed , too little against their power


I look at my palm , and its intricate design
and wonder if this lead to my existence
for many I matter, many I don’t
for many like snow, with heat I disappear


sometimes I will fall numb in my nerves
and feel my feet without my ground
I wish I could stack up all my fears
and disappear in the lights of this noise


if only I could disappear
I would see this world a different way
sunshine that gives rise to light
and sunshine that burns a world’s side...
 

Still of sAnd.....

The stillness promises to remain

but not the strength

with every rain I will wither

and loose my naked self

and come down to trash in some years

tumbling down the hill of time

the legend that I carried will still remain

or the love I carried still prevail

I thought no era could perish my power

but its not me, its the person I immortalize

I'm brimmed with inevitable silence

and have seen this still world in motion too

and have seen the glares admiring my beauty

and envying my power of being legendary too

I salute the power this legend granted me

and for the person who made me worth this 

just one blunder he made

added eyes to a lifeless statue

that made its world 

still in motion !

TalK iN tErmS of BlaCk aNd WhItE ..

The little part of a winter night
that traces insanity ,at every midnight
I fall prey to your cozy arms
it spins my world more than any glass of wine

I live in proportion to your smile
in between I skip a beat
when you blink your eye in awe of nature
living together with the madness I relate to
loving you has never been considered sane !

`in this blank night I am filled up with questions
of what is so serene that locks me into you
I laugh at the thought of unlocking myself
how will the fish not need water to live ?

the little part of a winter night
closes not just into morning
but from me and you to us
and in terms of black and white
the only two things that make the winter night ! :)

A guy's diary entry !

Dear diary dude !
I had to add the dude word to avoid being compared to females. I don’t know what makes them so weird . So mushy mushy kinds. I hate this business of care and affection to even the dirty piglet waking on the roadside , or on a rare bird spotted accidentally . I mean give me a break, Look on the person near you , adore his smartness < that is me of course > and flirt ! flirt or at least let flirt !
I’m tired of having those gigs surrounding me ! I landed up in my institute the other day and found two very pretty girls sitting near the reception . And after a second I see them laughing at me..and you ask me why ! Just because I dint cuddle up my notebook like they do always and had it fit into my helmet ... thats not funny .. I cannot hold my notebook like a teddy bear in hand always !
And dont forget the WWW ( world wide weird ) looks they give me at times when I place my shoes on the chair at front . I mean what man !!! what the hell is in those objects thats not in me.. pity on me and give me also some share of your caring looks ... fuc*ing lifeless creatures reducing my scope all the time.
shessshhh I’m a very patient being my diary dude .. But they test your patience like anything !
The last girl friend I was with had zero understanding . Each and every night she would want a loving eulogy , a cuddled up goodnight message.. How will a man handle this much load before sleep.. it should be a mutual goodnight right ? not filling you up with the relationship rules load thing !
I really missed her being human ... being practical as she was when I used to stay away from her !
There is something really wrong with the concept of being in love ...one starts behaving like insane ! Even my phone crashed of her overwhelming love you messages...
And when she would fight with me.. she would expect me to understand her pauses and plays and voice modulations !! God Physics was much easier and communication is so readily acceptable when analog ...then why do these chicks make it digital !!
Though their smiles makes my day .. I mean different smiles on different days ... still they would never understand their importance in my life ...
I gave them ...all of them “you make my day tag” and still they call me insensitive !!
what is being sensitive like ????
what is that which makes their gray matter opposite to real ones?
girls I tell you dude diary ...!!
hope I had a dudet’s diary to make things clear
esoteric they are !

To My AnXiouS EnemY ...

and I jumped with the gleam of my eye
and decided to surrender the caging thoughts
and I looked back and smiled to what made me change
and decided to surrender the aging past
what you see on my face is not just a smile
its the decision to look alive again
it might not matter to u
is whether I exist or not
so is the same with me
my dear anxious enemy
U , like this poem , is past for me :)

BliNdFoLdEd ...

I flutter with bliss unknown
when I know I’m surrounded by the darkest madness
only thing I can feel
is the warmth of the cloth above my eyes
and the glee in eyes in the rising sadness

I smile with a wrinkle beneath my eye
I laugh with the feel of you by my side
to dream about a shadow that will surrender to you forever
arms that will go wider at my distance
and closer when I’ll come closer

I touch you unaware of the scent that will get stuck
unaware of the smile that I will suddenly touch
into some wishes I dip each night
hoping for the sun to unfold my blindfold any morning

the silence will always alarm me of your shoes
of your distance , if ever , from me
till then I lie blindfolded under this sky
for ignorance is bliss at times !

Edge .....

I see a  picture that seems hazy

unclear in its intentions

as if hiding behind a glass

or dew or fog

I feel a power that seems to fuel no more

neither the greed , nor the needs

as if a tumbling stone being called by water

will sink in , of living on the edge

I feel people doubting you God

tell them the only thing real is you

they take me towards the clamour , the world

they have their fake angels , every one like your kind

I feel life asking me to breathe in

for how will I realize death if never given into life

I just surrendered , started living and beyond

I feel like the coal , burnt till desire

I feel like a flower . just bloomed to admire

I pretend like a grown up , to feel their thoughts

I pretend to live on the edge, only to hide , my fear of water !